full beat, nowhere to go

as seen in the photos below, i've been obsessing over the kathleenlights x morphe palette. unfortunately, it was limited edition... so sad. the quality of the eyeshadows is absolutely amazing. they are extremely pigmented, and very easy to blend. one of my favorite shades from the palette is the bright green shimmer one. 

i usually prefer bold eye looks, especially pink tones, although i wanted to see if i could create a neutral (well, at least my own version of neutral) look with brown and gold tones. surprisingly, i really loved how it came out.

(but pink tones still and always will have a special place in my heart)

eyes : kathleenlights x morphe palette, 

makeup geek cocoa bear, colourpop super 

shock shadow in kathleenlights

foundation : milani conceal and perfect foundation

highlight : makeup geek shimma shimma 

lips : colourpop ultra matte lip in love bug

eyes (left) : kathleenlights x morphe palette, 

makeup geek bitten and secret garden

eyes (right) : kathleenlights x morphe palette

foundation : milani conceal and perfect foundation

highlight : makeup geek shimma shimma 

lips : mac lipstick in retro

eyes : kathleenlights x morphe palette, 

makeup geek cocoa bear, colourpop super 

shock shadow in kathleenlights

foundation : milani conceal and perfect foundation

highlight : makeup geek shimma shimma 

lips : colourpop ultra matte lip in love bug

nostalgia

oh New York, how i miss your chaos.

i'm nostalgic for the air, the lights and the noise. i miss how the noise drowned out the anxiety and the unwanted thoughts. I miss the lights and how they didn't just light up the City like stars scattered in the universe, but how they lit me up inside as well. i miss the people, all so different and complex, with their own stories and thoughts and moments — a sense of sonder. i miss the subway and how everything felt so accessible, how it was so easy for me to navigate the veins of the City, as if I've always known how. i miss the thrill you get from crossing the street with a sense of purpose, the thrill from standing in the middle of Times Square with the bright city lights and the blue of people encasing you in a world of your own. i miss the loud laughter and fast-paced movement, always keeping you on your toes in the best way. i miss the unapologetic nature of everything and everyone their. their passions, their attitude, their fashion and mannerisms. i miss how the streets smell after the rain, how it reminds you of flowers being watered instead of inconvenience and nuisance. i miss how everything about being there is as if you're living in a film — not how things are perfect, but how hopeful it feels, how romanticized the city itself is. i miss the sense of love you feel in the City; romantic, platonic, ambiguous. it smells of opportunities and the possibility of beautiful moment everywhere you look, anywhere you are. New York to me, is home. not because I was born there, or because I've been there more than once, it's home because during that one amazing week in the city that never sleeps, I found myself.

the 3 things i learned about self-respect

1. it's called self-respect for a reason.

in a society where it's so easy (sometimes it even comes naturally) to judge and be judged, the ideas of what self-respect really means are conflicting and contradictory. what we tend to forget is that it's called self-respect for a reason. it's internal and you're the sole person in this world who can give any kind of measurement to how much you respect yourself. you cannot listen to others who tell you otherwise. 

♡

'the woman (or any other person!!) who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet' - mohadesa najumi

♡

2. love yourself

respect yourself enough to know your worth. understand the importance of valuing and protecting yourself from negativity & harsh opinions. it's crucial because it frees you from the pressure of acceptance we all seek from others. it's the most empowering thing in the world, accepting yourself. loving yourself based on your own standards, knowing that you don't have anything to prove to anyone but yourself. know what you deserve. respect yourself enough to walk away from toxic relationships & people. no one is worth losing yourself over. it's not worth it -- but you are.

♡

'respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy'

♡

3. it's about what makes you happy.

respecting yourself means you do what you want. it's about doing things that make you happy, regardless of what anyone's opinion is. you have to do what you need to, to make yourself. a big misconception about self-respect is that it is based on your sexuality or the clothes you wear -- or the clothes you don't wear. as long as it is your choice, as long as it is consensual, and as long as it makes you feel good about yourself, it is perfectly fine. it doesn't matter if you've had countless relations with the opposite sex (or the same). it doesn't matter if you've never even kissed anyone. it doesn't matter if you show too much skin or if you don't show anything at all. it's all about what you want for yourself, what makes you comfortable, and what makes you happy.

♡

'just keep moving forward and don't give a shit about what anybody thinks. do what you have to do, for you' - johnny depp

♡

pretty reckless

2015 was one hell of a ride. i did everything i set out to do at the start of the year; i joined a sport, ventured out of my comfort zone, and fell in love. i pushed myself to my limits to reach my goals. a lot of things i didn’t expect or wasn’t prepared for to happen, did; heartbreak, rejection from colleges, anxiety, disappointment, etc. 

i lost myself somewhere in the middle of everything, but that helped me realize a whole lot about myself. i was finally honest with myself and learned all about my flaws and my worst side. there was a time wherein i couldn’t stand being myself anymore – there was just too much that was wrong with me. it took almost losing my friends, losing myself to realize just how bad things had gotten.

 thankfully, i realized that, despite everything that i thought was dysfunctional about me, i didn’t want to be anyone else. i realized how horrible it would be to waste the person i already am. i embraced my worst parts and accepted myself for who i am. the biggest surprise of 2015 was how much self-love i had, harbored inside of me.

now comes 2016 – some of the biggest milestones are coming up. this year, i’m graduating. i don’t expect that i’ll suddenly mature and that everything will be free of the high school-level drama and problems. 2015 was my year to mess up, and although i know i am never going to be perfect and neither will this year, but i’m counting on what I’ve learned to help me grow into myself. 2016 is my year, my chance, to be the best person i know i can be. it’s my year to set myself straight, to shape myself into someone even better.

and honestly, im excited about what this year has in store for me.

{vorfreude}

(n.) a german untranslatable word, vorfreude is defined as the intense euphoric sensation you experience from thinking about future plans and daydreams. this beautiful feeling is a natural reaction the human mind manifests from expectations of future.

happy new year x

(photos series edits inspired by the amazing zoesuen)

axis

// whipped up an 'end of the year' playlist //

these are basically some of my year-end favorites, tunes that got me through the last few months of 2015. i recommend checking out all of gnash's other songs because i am honestly so in love with them (and you will be, too).