pretty reckless

2015 was one hell of a ride. i did everything i set out to do at the start of the year; i joined a sport, ventured out of my comfort zone, and fell in love. i pushed myself to my limits to reach my goals. a lot of things i didn’t expect or wasn’t prepared for to happen, did; heartbreak, rejection from colleges, anxiety, disappointment, etc. 

i lost myself somewhere in the middle of everything, but that helped me realize a whole lot about myself. i was finally honest with myself and learned all about my flaws and my worst side. there was a time wherein i couldn’t stand being myself anymore – there was just too much that was wrong with me. it took almost losing my friends, losing myself to realize just how bad things had gotten.

 thankfully, i realized that, despite everything that i thought was dysfunctional about me, i didn’t want to be anyone else. i realized how horrible it would be to waste the person i already am. i embraced my worst parts and accepted myself for who i am. the biggest surprise of 2015 was how much self-love i had, harbored inside of me.

now comes 2016 – some of the biggest milestones are coming up. this year, i’m graduating. i don’t expect that i’ll suddenly mature and that everything will be free of the high school-level drama and problems. 2015 was my year to mess up, and although i know i am never going to be perfect and neither will this year, but i’m counting on what I’ve learned to help me grow into myself. 2016 is my year, my chance, to be the best person i know i can be. it’s my year to set myself straight, to shape myself into someone even better.

and honestly, im excited about what this year has in store for me.

{vorfreude}

(n.) a german untranslatable word, vorfreude is defined as the intense euphoric sensation you experience from thinking about future plans and daydreams. this beautiful feeling is a natural reaction the human mind manifests from expectations of future.

happy new year x

(photos series edits inspired by the amazing zoesuen)